Senior co-housing: what it is, and how to start a group of your own

What makes it co-housing

A lot of places call themselves a community. Co-housing has a few features that set it apart. A fact sheet from Oklahoma State University Extension, drawing on the architect Charles Durrett, lists six. These are the ones that matter most day to day, though the details vary from one community to the next:

Residents plan it together. The future neighbors help design the place before it's built.

The layout brings people together. It's designed so neighbors run into each other.

The residents run it. Most have no outside manager making the rules, and decisions are usually shared among the adults who live there.

Everyone keeps their own money. It isn't a commune, and nobody pools their income.

Many US communities use an ownership model: residents buy their homes and share the cost of the common parts, much like a condo association. Village Hearth works this way. But it doesn't have to. New Ground in High Barnet, north London, the first co-housing in the UK for women over 50, opened in 2016 with 25 apartments and a mix of owners and social renters, for women aged 50 to 87 when they moved in.

Is there LGBTQ+ co-housing?

Yes, though very little. The best-known example in the US is Village Hearth in Durham, North Carolina: 28 homes on 15 acres, for people aged 55 and over, created by and for LGBTQ+ people and their allies. Residents moved in from 2020.

Regnbågen, an LGBTQ+ retirement community in Stockholm, shows how much people want this. It opened in 2013 with 28 apartments for over-55s, and had a waiting list of close to 300 people when Euronews visited in 2023. Most people who want something like this will find there isn't one near them yet. That's why the rest of this guide is about starting one.

How a co-housing group gets started

The Cohousing Association of the United States puts the usual timeline at three to seven years from first meeting to moving in. That's an average, and a hard land search can stretch it. So it helps to know what the stages look like.

1. Start with three to five people. You don't need a full group to begin. You need a few who are serious, who meet regularly and can agree on the outline: where, and whether it's for LGBTQ+ people only or open to allies too.

2. Write down what you want. A short statement of your values and your vision answers a lot of later arguments before they start. Include the hard topics: money, pets, how much you'll share, and what happens when someone needs more care.

3. Agree how you'll decide things. The Cohousing Association suggests consensus, or consent, where a decision goes ahead unless someone has a serious objection. Pick a method early and practice it on small decisions, because you'll need it for big ones.

4. Grow to eight or ten households. Post your project somewhere people can find it, and hold open meetings. Groups often keep growing while they look for land.

5. Set up a legal structure. In the US, one option the Cohousing Association mentions is an LLC, a type of company that can hold the money and buy the land. The right structure depends on the project, so this is the point to hire a lawyer who has worked with co-housing before.

6. Find the land, then design. Check what the local planning rules allow before you fall for a site. Our guide to tiny house communities for seniors covers the planning hurdles in the US and Spain. Then hire an architect, and a developer and builder, ideally ones who have done co-housing before.

7. Fill the last places and move in. Groups usually keep recruiting right up to the end, and many keep a waiting list afterwards.

A few things that catch groups out

Money comes first. People join with very different budgets, and a group that never talks about price until the land is found tends to lose members at the worst moment. Put a rough cost range on the table early, even if it's a guess.

Care is the second. Co-housing isn't a care home, and residents can't be expected to look after each other full time. Some groups agree to help in small ways, such as rides to appointments or a meal when someone's ill, and say plainly where that stops. Plan for changing needs as well. Talk early about what happens if someone needs regular help, and find out which local home care services could step in, because neighbors can't do it all. In the US, your local Area Agency on Aging is a good place to ask.

And it's slow. Three to seven years is a long time at 60 or 70. If you'd rather share a home sooner, sharing with a senior roommate can be a good way to start while the bigger plan takes shape.

Find your group on Among Our People

Community Living on Among Our People is where this first stage can happen. You can browse projects that are already forming, start a project of your own and say who you're looking for, or post your idea on the online notice board if it's still early. It's free, and people who'd like to help without moving in, from builders to lawyers, can find you there too.